Tuesday, January 7, 2014

A creature?

I'm not sure quite what it is,
this thing that's lurking inside my self.

I think it's been there before,
more than once,
but I think it might have changed a bit since then.

It feels dormant (is that the right word?)
It's still for now.
But it could erupt,
whenever it likes,
whenever conditions are right.

But maybe it's just a little creature
settling in to wait out the storm.

It is very windy,
I was worried I'd get blown into traffic today.

I don't know what it is,
I don't know what I can do,
I don't know how long it's here for.

I do think it's a little creature,
maybe it's cute and furry and sweet
and maybe it's dark and scary and dangerous.
Either way it comes to visit now and then,
and each time it's a bit different.

And I don't really like the constant feeling of it,
settling,
turning over in it's sleep?
in the center of my stomach.
I don't really like the feeling at all.

I have been working on my breathing.

I've been breathing in slowly through my nose
and feeling the air fill my chest up
and I've been holding it there,
just for a second
and then letting it go, slowly
until my body feels a little soft and my chest feels a little empty.

Maybe the creature wants some air?

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